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Communism is like prohibition – it’s a good idea, but it won’t work

“Sadly distance keeps me from being in your wedding. I want you to know your wedding makes me and everybody who are fond of you very happy. A big hug and a lot of happiness for deciding to be very close.”

I want to show you how much I love you, but to show that I’ll have to show you how big the universe is because I love you so much.

A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it’s you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio

It’s quite scary really how horrible girls can be. Sometimes they’re just so spiteful and we’re all bitchy and hurt each other in the end.

“My home is open to you whenever you need it, even if it’s just for a change of scenery and a cup of coffee. You are always welcome.”

Let me see you try to live without me. Now where’s your heartbeat? Flat line on the EKG.

For Easter I’m gonna get really drunk and hide a whole bunch of eggs, wake up sober and have an Easter egg hunt with myself!

”Don’t ever change yourself for someone, if they don’t appreciate the way you are. Find someone else who will.”

Unless you’re a jar of Nutella, it’s impossible to make everyone happy.

My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

tell your stories, spread your lies, but don’t ever say that i didn’t care.

Some people don’t lie very well, they just hope your not smart enough to figure it out!

Trust your silence, Just like you trust your words. Someone, Someday will understand.

The only time I ever went “AWOL” was after burning my mouth on a very hot chip.

The frustrating moment when exams just over and your teachers decide to return you your results the week after to spoil your mood.

An apology may be a sign of weakness, but having the courage to go up to someone and say sorry is a strength.

Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.

I’m not somebody who will go out of my way to hurt somebody when i love them… I’m somebody who will go out of my way to get hurt for the people i love..