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Text: If I look like I am arguing with myself don’t worry about it. I am trying to reason with the voices in my head. They want me to hit you.

War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left

Dear Santa, Don’t listen to any of my Facebook friends. I have been a perfect angel, I swear.

There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.

Happy Boss’s Day: You’re everything wishes to be, you mean all the world to me. I’m so glad we celebrate this day yearly because you’re the greatest boss and I love you dearly. Now that all of this butt-kissing is through, you’ll give me a raise if you know what’s right for you.

For many people, the word friend is just a sequence of letters. For me, it is the source of happiness and strength because of you. Happy Birthday, buddy!

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved. Did you sea what I did there? I’m shore you did, beach.

I love living life with you and I live life for loving you. Happy Anniversary!

Do me a Favour? Get two breeze blocks tie them round your feet, AND GO JUMP OFF A F…ING BRIDGE!

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail…

Won $750,000 on a scratchcard last night, no more work for me!!!!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

I hope your Thanksgiving is yummy, delicious, and tasty.

Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers.

I was very sorry when I found out that your intentions were good and not what I supposed they were.

I smile because you’re my sister. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.

It’s so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

“The reassuring smile on your lips, the touch of your hands, and the little ways in which you make me happy is what keeps me alive every day.”

“Every moment I spent with you.. is like beautiful dream come true.” Happy Valentine’s Day Sweety