‘Funny Facebook Status’

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done

At least mosquitos are attracted to me.

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

Life is too short to spend it on a diet, greedy men and bad mood …

Love is an ocean of feelings surrounded by costs

Never marry if you are afraid of loneliness

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

If you want to fool the world, tell the truth

It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.

How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)

I would rather sing one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rollin, they hatin

I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)

I had never loved anybody the way I love myself