Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
There’s nothing more dangerous than marrying a woman for her beauty and youth
The best memories come from bad ideas.
Aging is boring, but it is the only known way to live long
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation..
It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
I have been upgraded to Santas naughty list Platinum member
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
To avoid criticism you need do nothing, say nothing and be no one
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Dont ruin a Good Today because of a Bad Yesterday
if I am wired with you then I like you..
I was bored so I said “Wow, that’s a weird place to put a piano.” You wouldn’t believe how many people looked around for a piano. I was in an elevator.
If you do not learn from your mistakes, do not do them at all
The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.
Today’s forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day… 😛
Every person you come across is a ‘People you may know’ notification.
You can’t always control who walks into your life. but you can control which window you throw them out of.
