‘Facebook Jokes’

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

I hate when skinny girls say,”omg I’m so fat”. If you are fat does that make me a whale?

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die next Tuesday.

There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients :)

The real reason women live longer than men b’coz they don’t have to live with women.

Don’t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain’t. :)

Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz

Snooker is the best. Snooker is basically tidying up disguised as sport.

Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.

You want a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie.

I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

A relationship without trust is like a phone without service, all you do is play games.

Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.