‘Facebook Jokes’

Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

When your GF blocks u on facebook…… Its called an electronic divorce :)

If people could see the face I make when I read their facebook status updates, they would probably unfriend me.

I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.

We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :)

Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a girls brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.

I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent :)

We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.

It’s not true that I had nothing ON….. The radio was ON. :)

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

I hate when skinny girls say,”omg I’m so fat”. If you are fat does that make me a whale?

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die next Tuesday.

There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients :)

The real reason women live longer than men b’coz they don’t have to live with women.

Don’t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain’t. :)

Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz