‘Facebook Jokes’



Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.

You want a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie.

I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

A relationship without trust is like a phone without service, all you do is play games.

Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.

I am making it my job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

Dear Google: They are only using you to get to me. Sincerely Wikipedia

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul.

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a MENTAL HOSPITAL.

Why is Facebook like Jail? “You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!”

If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape :)

Question of the Day: When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?