‘Facebook Jokes’

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz

Snooker is the best. Snooker is basically tidying up disguised as sport.

Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.

You want a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie.

I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

A relationship without trust is like a phone without service, all you do is play games.

Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.

I am making it my job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

Dear Google: They are only using you to get to me. Sincerely Wikipedia

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul.

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a MENTAL HOSPITAL.

Why is Facebook like Jail? “You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!”

If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.