‘Facebook Jokes’



My “last minute activity” was just to check your “last minute activity”.

I’m not stalker. I am an unpaid private investigator.

Dear parents, we know money doesn’t grow on trees, that’s why we are asking you for it.

I’m going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

Never let a person who is ready to marry with you after seeing you without makeup.

A fast beating heart doesnt always mean Love… A blushing face isnot always a sign that your inlove… Sometimes huboGLANG! HAHAH

In case of fire, exit building before tweeting about it……

I have a date tonight, with my bed. We are totally gonna sleep together.

A man died and sent to Heaven. God was surprised to see his Heart still beating. . God asked him, how come? The man replied, “I’m Dead but my Wife still lives in my Heart”. ;)

When I die I want my body to donate for research, but more specifically to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life.

Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 four times. It’s that easy.

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

Instead of single as a marital status, it should read independently, owned and operated :)

Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

When your GF blocks u on facebook…… Its called an electronic divorce :)

If people could see the face I make when I read their facebook status updates, they would probably unfriend me.

I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.

We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :)

Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a girls brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.