‘Dirty Facebook Status’



We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Hey girl, I’d like to be a part of your next abortion.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, …………………….. it’s called a credit card.

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

In a cramped bus.. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. Man: Oh! That’s… that’s just my salary in my pocket. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?

No matter how dirty your past is, your future is still spotless.

Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

I am in love for getting dirty.

Deja poo….. The feeling that you’ve heard this crap before

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

Every conversation is more fun if you start with a dirty mind.

People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.

You can’t be the top dog if you act like a pussy!

Fuck everyone who said they were there for me, and then left.

I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd :)

I wanna do bad things with you.

Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

Me: “Why am I still single?” Brain: “You’re weird as shit.” Body: “And you’re fat.” Face: “Plus you’re ugly.” Food: “But I’m here for you.”

Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.